Dear 44

Dear 44,

I’d like to personally welcome you to my life.  I have no expectations of you, unlike 40, and 41, 42, and 43.  I think I perhaps put too much pressure on them to be IT.  To be perfect and to fall in line with the ‘should be’s’ we all have. To fix everything that was wrong in the years prior. I won’t do that to you.  I have learned to be patient and kind, and to stop and be still. I have learned to listen to my body and my heart, and I will listen to you as well.

You see 44, you have only been here a day, so I feel like we need to get to know one another and respect each other.  That boot camp class I tried to take a few weeks back-I won’t put you through that.  Together we will find what works with this slightly disjointed body we are in.  I respect what you have been through.  Those worries I carried with me, those lives I measured mine with, those choices I made because I was making someone else happy-I have left those behind us.  I promise you that.

There are things I’d like to accomplish with you, and I hope that you will provide me strength and guidance, confidence and inspiration. I hope that together we can once and for all make peace with who we are, and what we have to work with.  I hope we can find new and exciting ways to challenge each other-that mountain biking trip a few weeks back-yeah, let’s do THAT again!  I would like to explore and travel and say yes to as many things as we can. I would like to not be afraid, and I think 43 prepared me well for that, so let’s roll with it.

And the creativity that 43 brought with her, let’s work on that too.  They say you should do what you love, find what feels good to your soul and do that, and I am finding that to be true. To write. To photograph. I am working on it. Even if it is not posted here every day, I think of it everyday. It is growing in me, and I am learning.

Let’s not forget the lessons that your predecessors fought hard to teach me-there were so many I think I lost count. But if I falter, a simple reminder will suffice this time-I promise. No need to bring me to my knees, to have me face all of my demons.  I will remember.  I will remember.

44 you feel different to me, and I am glad.  I feel like we are both coming to this place simply, honestly, and freely.  So welcome, my friend. So glad to meet you.  Now, let’s get started…

About startingwritenow

I am a mom, a wife, a sister, daughter and friend. I love a good laugh, a house full of people, a great craft beer (or two), a bold red wine and a book or movie of any kind.-good, bad or otherwise! I believe in learning something everyday, in growing and changing every chance you get. I don't fit in every circle, I don't color inside the lines, but I have learned to love my messy life!
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