This is not my original post. I mean, it is original-I wrote it, but it is not what I originally intended to write. This morning I wrote a different post, all it needed was a few pictures. But I had to get into the shower and get to work so I set it aside.
As the day went on I scrolled my social media accounts and I remembered-it is Throwback Thursday. Or shall I say #tbt . What day you ask? Why, Throwback Thursday! The day everyone (seemingly) on social media posts ‘throwback’ pictures from back in the day. Just pick one and post. Pick a few and post. Every week.
So I have to ask, am I the only one that really hates Throwback Thursday? Or at least strongly dislikes? Okay, is mildly annoyed with it?
I truly don’t have time to go digging through old pictures to find ‘the one’ that would make a perfect #tbt picture. I don’t have time to jump on the bandwagon every week. Who does? How do they? The random throwbacks I have managed to dig up go back to when my kids were toddlers. Halloween costumes. Messy faces. Pony rides-that sort of thing. And even with that, I think I have only posted a handful, and only if they were readily available on this computer at the precise moment the impulse came over me. If I have to search or if it is going to take more than a minute, it is not happening.
But do I ever go way back? No, no. No, I don’t go there. Sometimes I wonder who all these people were that carried cameras around all of the time? Were they hiding in the bushes? Maybe I missed something. I remember high school, and I remember the friends I had. I remember the places we went and the things we did, but I don’t recall one of us whipping out a camera at a moments notice. Ever. I did hang around more with guys, so maybe that was it? Maybe they just weren’t into the ‘Hey let’s take a picture’ thing the way girls were. And if that is the case, why wasn’t I (being the girl) taking the pictures? Hmmm. I had girlfriends too, not just guys, so apparently we were just not a big crowd of picture takers? What is crazy is that I had a camera and a very good one at that, so I should have been. My father owned a photo-processing lab, there were cameras in my house all the time! My sister ended up a photographer for Pete’s sake!
Perhaps it is because I did not go on to college after high school like most of the girls in my class did. I did not have a roommate in a dorm, sorority sisters, or of those bonding experiences that most of them have had. I drifted in and out of the local technical college and settled into a crap relationship for years. I did not take pictures then. Even in the beginning when we were happy, I did not take pictures. Maybe I knew it would be the relationship I’d want to forget? Who would want to throwback to that? Surely I am not the only one that has days I would rather forget? Years even?
But now every Thursday I have a pinch of the dreaded FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) as I read my feed. I can’t lie. I look at those gaggles of girls laughing at some joke I never heard and for an instant I wish I could go back and be a part of that. I look at the dog pile of college friends waving their beers at the camera and I feel a twinge of regret, of sadness that I missed that-whatever that was. Ridiculous isn’t it? It’s only a picture.
Aside from my elementary school pictures (where I look like Velma from Scooby Doo) and a few strays from the years in between, my life in pictures seems to start when I met my husband. And I know that is about as cliché as it gets. But the truth is, all of my Throwback Thursdays begin and end with us. Our family. Our life. Our friends and our adventures. I have boxes of pictures of the life we have built, every step and every stage. I have dozens of memory sticks. I have GBs of files. And I suppose I should look at #tbt from the other side of the coin, and consider myself lucky. I don’t have to look back to relive those feelings- feeling of excitement, happiness, and love. That feeling of having the whole world to explore and a whole life ahead of me. I don’t have to look back at all. I have it right here, this Thursday, and if I am really lucky, every Thursday.